Are You There, MO-RI-AR-I-TY?
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Lesley Nelson
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Lyrics
According to Burl Ives, this song became popular "through the singer Gerard Crofts in the internment camps set up after the 1916 Rebellion."

D.M.P. = Dublin Metropolitan Police. They were replaced by the Civic Guards, Metropolitan Division after the Treaty of 1921.

Kevin Street refers to a specific Dublin precinct.

The song has nothing to do with Sherlock Holmes' archnemesis Professor Moriarty.

Whin first I kem to Dublin town
'Twas in eighteen eighty three,
I wint direct, wid me head erect,
For to join the D.M.P.
Me majestic feet woke Kevin Street,
As I walked up proud an' free;
For well I knew they could not do
Wid out me, MORIARITY!
I'm a well known bobby of the stalwart squad,
I belong to the D.M.P.
And the girls all cry as I pass by:
Are you there, MORIARITY?

On, on, I wint widout accidint,
Till the station came in view,
Then meself I saw as a limb of the law,
Dressed out like a big Boy Blue.
As thro' the gate of me future fate
I sthrode on manfully,
All the polis creid when they seen me sthride,
"An' is this MORIARITY?"
I'm a well known bobby of the stalwart squad,
I belong to the D.M.P.
And the girls all cry as I pass by:
Are you there, MORIARITY?

Wid no delay, I drew me pay
And began for to study too,
A polisman I soon beame,
Prepared for me job to do.
Theives, far and near, I filled with fear,
Gaol-birds avoided me;
Malefactors trembled when they heard,
"Here's MORIARITY!"
I'm a well known bobby of the stalwart squad,
I belong to the D.M.P.
And the girls all cry as I pass by:
Are you there, MORIARITY?

Whin to coort I went, on business bent,
The Jedge on his binch looked grim;
But after awhile I's see him smile,
If I happened to glance at him.
Thin I'd hear him say in a solemn way:
"Now, and who could that man be?"
"My Lord," said the clerk, "he's a man of mark,
Name of MO-RI-AR-I-TY."
I'm a well known bobby of the stalwart squad,
I belong to the D.M.P.
And the girls all cry as I pass by:
Are you there, MORIARITY?

The Latin I knew in a week or two,
And I gave them soon a shock
Whin I hurled a junk av a "quid pro nunc."
With a "post" and a "propter hoc."
A "habeas corpus" or "aqua fortis,"
Was all the same to me!
Whin I'd take the floor the crier would roar:
"Wisha! Here's MO-RI-AR-I-TY!"
I'm a well known bobby of the stalwart squad,
I belong to the D.M.P.
And the girls all cry as I pass by:
Are you there, MORIARITY?

The ladies too, I very soon knew,
Wor smitten, wan and all;
For beneath me spell, they quickly fell,
And I held them in me thrall.
Wid me handsome face, wid me charm and grace,
They thought and they dreamt of me;
And whin I'd pass by I could hear them sigh:
"Oh, I love MO-RI-AR-I-TY!"
I'm a well known bobby of the stalwart squad,
I belong to the D.M.P.
And the girls all cry as I pass by:
Are you there, MORIARITY?

Whin me work is done and me coorse is run,
And I've walked on me last long beat,
And to Heaven's shore I'll quickly soar,
Saint Peter there to meet,
Sure, I hope he'll say, in a kindly way,
"Is it there, Tim, yerself I see;
Yer reward you've won for yer work well done,
Shtep in! MO-RI-AR-I-TY!"
I'm a well known bobby of the stalwart squad,
I belong to the D.M.P.
And the girls all cry as I pass by:
Are you there, MORIARITY?
Related Links
From Burl Ives Irish Songs
See Bibliography for full information.