Contemplations
from the Marianas Trench

"Contemplations from the Marianas Trench" is a pretentious way of saying "Deep Thoughts". But if you're really looking for Deep Thoughts you should probably go to a philosopher or a fool (I have no training in those areas, although I do have experience in both, gotten mostly in my youth when I partied a fair bit.)

I believe that personal web pages are cheap therapy. It's a great way to forget about the bills to pay, the dinner to cook, the house to clean and the other myriad of things that life demands. It started because I wanted to figure out how to make a home page. Since I went to all that trouble I thought I may as well actually put it on the Web.

I didn't want it to be like EVERYONE else's...(Gee that's original...) What better than an obtuse title to set it apart. Therapy might embarrass the family, except that we share a sense of humor about all things. This ensures we have more good times than bad and sees us through the bad.

So in spite of the risk of some embarrassment, the Contemplations were created. The Contemplator joined the ranks of those counting "hits" of the non-physical sort. Soon people won't be competing about how many dates they've had, how early their babies talked or how big their "guns" are, but how many hits they've had on their home pages. After all these years, it's still intersting to occasionally check how many people come and where they come from.

I also enjoy writing just for the heck of it (obviously). So I figure this is not only saving me the cost of therapy but fulfilling my need to write as well, which I suppose can be considered just another form of therapy too.... I write but I never finish anything (I bet that's an original too). Still I continue to write: a journal, the beginnings of stories, and policy-related papers for work. I enjoy it all.

I've had a lot of "interests" over the years. None of them were cheap. Horses for instance. From horses I learned not to be obsessive about anything that eats a lot and can't clean up it's manure - but I had babies anyway. They aren't any cheaper than horses, and they’re a lot more contrary, but they are also the most rewarding of creatures.

I used to think I was obsessive about the martial arts. When I started in martial arts, as when I start everything, I wanted to be as good as I could be and I put a lot of time in. It was a ten year obsession and at times I still miss it.

Being obsessive takes a lot of time. Obsession isn't necessarily about doing something to the exclusion of all else - even at my most "enthusiastic" I never did that. It's being so involved in something you don't spend as much time on duties and responsibilities and those you care about. One very clever solution is to make a living at your obsession, then it IS your duty and responsibility and no one calls it your obsession any more, they call it your job. Some people don’t make their obsession their job but their job becomes their obsession. There are dividends, of course, or people wouldn’t be obsessive. For example my kids and video games. If I put the thousands of hours they have into it, I’d be great at it too. And I'd like to be becuase there are some amazing games out there, but my fingers just never developed enough dexterity and my brain couldn't keep up with all the combinations - and I got tired of being killed...

Obsession isn't always about being the best, either. I know a lot of people who are obsessive about things they aren't good at - golf comes to mind. My second husband loved golf so much he would play it alone. It's amazing I haven't taken up the game. It's expensive, it's difficult and it's evidently addictive. But it's too late, I've decided to become a moderate in everything.

I made this decision only recently. Why? The reason I don't have as many "enthusiasms" isn't because I made a conscious decision, my obsessions mostly just fell by the wayside. I want to be good at any obsession and I no longer want to take the time to become as good as I want to be. As an economist would say (and I used to be one in Another Life), the costs exceed the benefits. I like my mostly laid back life.